User:TheAsherG/NoTch FacTs

Notch Facts!
Notch Facts is a bit fun put togeather on the youtube channel of TheAsherG. Most people are familiar with Chuck Norris facts. A series of 100% true statements about the toughness and manliness of Chuck Norris e.g. "Chuck Norris has no chin under his beard...just another fist." "Chuck Norris created the giraffe by uppercutting a horse." The following are a series of statements regarding Notch's awesomeness and exploits in minecraft! The main purpose of this is to recognise and thank Notch for giving us this simple but fantastic game!

Notch can punch through Bedrock.

Notch digs straight﻿ down.

Notch can travel﻿ up lava.

Notch can hug a﻿ creeper.

Notch﻿ doesn't run from creepers, creepers run from Notch.

Notch doesn't have to take a﻿ breath underwater.

When a zombie punches Notch the zombie﻿ loses a heart.

Notch needs no tools he simply stares at the block until it crumbles and places itself in his inventory.

Notch doesn't need a saddle to ride pigs.

Skeletons only started riding spiders to escape from Notch faster.

On the Third Day Notch said "Let﻿ there be Mobs" and it was so.

Notch created diamond by squeezing a coal block with his﻿ bare hands.

Notch﻿ only explores by night and passes the boring day time by punching obsidian.

Notch set his house up in the nether and only goes into the real world when he's﻿ bored.

When Notch plays soccer/football he goes goalkeeper and gets ghasts to shoot bombs﻿ at him.

When Notch﻿ falls he gains hearts.

When Notch falls he doesn't take fall damage, the ground below him takes Notch damage.

Notch does not need Red Stone to open doors, the doors open for notch out of pure fear and﻿ respect.

Notch completed minecraft.

To test the theory on how respected and feared Notch really is, I walked into a RedLobster one﻿ day and just muttered the Word Notch and 6 of the waiting staff rushed to my side carrying trays upon trays of seafood and all the wet naps a man would ever need.

They say that P-Bat is the "Champ" And﻿ SlyFox is the "King" what does that make Notch you ask? He's Notch 'nuf said!

All﻿ the cake in Minecraft could not fill up Notch's health bar.

Notch can﻿ punch up to 7 Blocks High.

Notch can make tools out of sand and dirt.

Notch can collect pigs, not just the meat.

Notch can dye sheep with gold ingots.

If Notch were to place a mob spawner, it would spawn Notch clones.

Notch can catch fish in lava.

Notch's preferred choice of fuel for a furnace is to stuff an entire creeper in it (good for one million smelts).

Notch's snowballs kill in one hit.  Notch uses boats on tracks and minecarts in water.  When Notch is mining stone, it gives him cobblestone, but is automatically smelted to stone because of how fast he mines.

Notch can ride Ghasts. Without a saddle.

When Notch plays Classic mode, he can craft items.

Notch can make purple ERROR wool without using hacks because the wool is so scared when he's crafting them that they die.

Notch can build in The Void.

Gravel and sand do not suffocate Notch; they are suffocated by Notch's hands.

Notch can throw flint and kill someone.

Notch does not need a garbage disposal for unwanted items; he just eats them for hearts.

Notch can eat mushrooms straight from the ground.

Notch can craft a machine gun using two sticks, three loaves of bread, and a clock, just by mashing them together with his bare hands.

When Notch dies, the score reads over 9000.

When Notch dies... wait he cant die.

Be sure to head over to TheAsherG channel to contribute!